Powered by Cutonium: The Random, Cool and Unintended Consequences of Fatherhood

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What follows is a random list of things that you might not care about.

Proud parents have a horrible habit of sharing that pride with coworkers and party goers and whoever else is polite enough to feign interest. Not long ago, I was one of those people joyless people. I feel your cynical pain.

I know that you think that your shitzu is smarter than my honor student. (It’s not. And my honor students – I got two of them – will totally kick your little rat dog’s ass!) But I’m right at ground zero of this, buttressed by a three, nine and thirteen year old. This is my world. Deal with it.

  • My three year old wakes up every morning and proclaims, “It’s today!” She’s so zen.
  • When I’m laying on the couch, she climbs up on top of me and relaxes, treating me like I’m her couch. When she puts her head just beneath my chin, it’s like therapy. Try being mad when there is a three year old on your chest. I’ll wait… Of course, to her I’m just a big soft thing.
  • Play fighting with the nine year old. He practices capoeira. That means, sooner or later he will probably be able to kind of man-handle me. For now, though, matching martial wits with him is better than a dozen games of Battleship.
  • Sometimes, when she’s sick or tired, the thirteen year old will lean on me. I pretend not to like it. I threaten to move away and let her drop, but deep inside my lump of coal heart, I think, “Awwww.”
  • I like it when they all play together. There is usually a 15 minute window when they aren’t fighting.

If you made it through the entire list, I applaud you. Years ago, before this became my reality, I would have dry heaved and moved on. But now, think of this as my testament to my beautiful blended family.

12 thoughts on “Powered by Cutonium: The Random, Cool and Unintended Consequences of Fatherhood

  1. You are very blessed to have 3 beautiful + smart children, and from your writing it is evident you do:-) “15 minute window” couldn’t of said it better( how it really is!)—ours were the same distance in age many moons ago…but now they are 22,25,28, and not living with us now( one in Europe for years)…but it passes too quickly to another stage… our first grand children were born this past year, and our youngest is moved out to graduate school……and this part is just as much fun!….great post:-)

  2. You are very blessed to have 3 beautiful + smart children, and from your writing it is evident you do:-) “15 minute window” couldn’t of said it better( how it really is!)—ours were the same distance in age many moons ago…but now they are 22,25,28, and not living with us now( one in Europe for years)…but it passes too quickly to another stage… our first grand children were born this past year, and our youngest is moved out to graduate school……and this part is just as much fun!….great post:-)

  3. It’s chaos here, too, most of the time, and they fight a LOT, but they also look out for each other and play together, and it warms my heart :)

    Seriously, though. Your kids are GORGEOUS. That is such a lovely photo — big happy smiles.

  4. It’s chaos here, too, most of the time, and they fight a LOT, but they also look out for each other and play together, and it warms my heart :)

    Seriously, though. Your kids are GORGEOUS. That is such a lovely photo — big happy smiles.

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