What I Learned from the Walking Dead, Season 4 Trailer

“Is that a voice?”
Yeah, there are voices in Season 4. We’ll get to that shortly.

But let’s start at the beginning, at what looks like a Big Lots knock off. They’re knocking on the window, trying to get the attention of zombie store manager, and…

:02 I’m wondering if Daryl has a stylist. I mean, he seems to be one of the only guys there who has more than one change of clothes, and it all looks dope. The poncho from last season blew me away. Now, he’s layering leather vests over motorcycle jackets; which should be a uniform requirement for everyone carrying a crossbow.

At :18 We All Can Get Along. Tyrese, his sister, Glenn, the other Black dude and Michonne comprise one of the most multi-cultural team of post apocalyptic ass kickers ever assembled.
If Benetton sold assault rifles, their commercials would look like this.

:32 Speaking of the other Black dude, here he is again. So, he’s not cannon fodder, because he’s all over the trailer, and in those approximately four minutes, he has more lines than T-Dawg did in three seasons.

:42 Why wouldn’t Michonne be able to ride a horse?! Of course she can ride… racist.

1:28 So zombie Mike Tyson is out there in those Georgia Woods? How else can you explain Tyrese sporting a black eye?

1:33 Lord of the Flies!

1:50 Carol is the Middle School Teacher that I wish I had. “Today we’re going to talk about knives…”
I like her more and more as the series progresses. BTW: Melissa McBride is the actress who plays Carol. She needs to update her website. (Call me…)

2:46 Glenn is selfish and just a little bit douchey.

2:56 Dodge Daytonas Hemis are not good rides when the roads are littered with the undead. You guys couldn’t go find a 4×4? Even an XTerra?

3:00 we see that there are more zombies than there are raisins in a box of Raisin Bran. Like, more dead people out in the woods of Georgia, than there are live people, right now, in those same woods. Where are they coming from? Marta?

3:23 Tyrese is going to either die or Hulk out. I suspect the latter. Zombies will be tossed in every direction, bits of their rotting flesh smearing the camera. Then he’ll stomp on the ground and a split will open and swallow up the rest of the undead horde.

3:50 Don’t Ever tell a Black man to calm down, Rick! And take that Daryl, with your stupid vest. Seriously though, I want a black vest, which I will wear with everything.

4:15 “Is that a voice?” Ooooh…

Yeah, it probably is a voice. Why don’t you guys go repurpose a better car. Something with four wheel drive. Something that is easier to work on and with greater ground clearance. Like, enough clearance for at least three feet of zombie. And something with a better radio.

The Governor’s radio would have picked it up, you better believe that.

Speaking of which, who do you think is littering rat corpses around the fences of the prison? Someone with too much time on their hands, is who. If it is the Governor, then he needs to have his life fixed by Iyanla Vanzant. There are easier and less time consuming ways to get revenge.
Come on man, it’s time to move on.

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