I saw this guy a few weeks ago on Gawker.
He’s a skinny poet talking about the friend zone.
At first it is self deprecating and light. Then, at about the three minute mark, it turns into an intervention. His thin fingers spear out. His voice turns grave and somber. This is a 3:14 call to action. This is the rallying cry that the world has been waiting for.
What do you think?
I’ve been in the friend zone before. I have felt the sting of watching a woman move on from me, and enjoy a rich sex life with the next guy. I guess I could beat myself up for having the audacity of trying to barter my listening skills for sex… “As if the only reason to be a good friend, or a decent fucking human being, is to get something in exchange…”
But then, are the guys who try to listen their way into a woman’s heart that different from anyone else? They are just playing to their strengths. It just so happens that they have a unique skill set that gets them close to women, and almost certainly guarantees that they will never be anything but close. This doesn’t necessarily make them a terrible person.
Maybe their game is broken beyond repair, or maybe they just don’t know what to do with this one particular woman. But the only difference between them and those other guys that aren’t in the friend zone, is that the other guys know when to quit.
They move on to the next one while the friendster attempts an ill fated long term game.
Lighten Dylan. Being in the friend zone doesn’t make you a potential rapist. Being a potential rapist makes you a potential rapist.
Maybe you were an asshole for getting angry at your ex for moving on and losing her virginity to the next guy. Is that different from the woman who gets mad after her boyfriend moves on and marry’s? Most people are assholes after a breakup. Because breaking up sucks.
That doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a little jilted, but you moved on, right? I’ve been there more than once. Each time I moved on.
“We all know the statistics, but we don’t know how to accept how easily we become part of the problem. You cannot kill a monster until you see it in the mirror.”

What monster? Monster where?
Those were his words. They were followed by shouts and applause. There are people in that crowd that knew something that I don’t know, because I did not feel moved to clap or cheer.
I’m all for introspection. I can admit when I’ve sinned, and I’ve sinned a lot. But when I have attempted to friend a woman into a relationship, the only sin was against myself.
The friend zone, alone, doesn’t make you a rapist, or a stalker or an otherwise terrible person. It just makes you sad and unfulfilled.